Forgiveness

For those of you who don’t know this, I have an aunt who suffers from high blood pressure and diabetes. She had a heart attack and was in the ICU for a few weeks. A week after she got out of the ICU and went home, she had to go to the ER again because of her blood pressure. I got angry. I got angry because she doesn’t take care of herself, she doesn’t diet, she doesn’t do a lot of things she is supposed to. And when she came home from the hospital, she said she was afraid. All hell broke loose. I started to confront her by telling her that she doesn’t take care of herself, and that escalated into screaming and all kinds of shenanigans. It was not pretty. By the time we were done, she brought my Father into the conversation by saying I didn’t care about him. That was very painful to hear. The week after, she told one of my aunts that I was dead to her. Since then we didn’t speak again. It was hard after that because she is very hard to deal with, so she kept saying things indirectly to me, to which I didn’t respond. I don’t speak to her. I don’t look at her. We have no relationship whatsoever. The reason I am telling you this is because I need forgiveness. I know I am disobeying God. It is very hard to forgive her, not just because of what she said about my Father, but because of everything else she did afterwards. I know I am wrong. I need you guys to pray for me. I have never been this honest about any other issue in my life ever. Maybe I don’t understand what God’s forgiveness is. I need God’s help. I need God’s help to forgive, so if you think about it, say a prayer for the both of us. We so desperately need God!

Help, Lord Jesus!

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