I’ve been struggling for the past few days. My hearts wants something it knows it can’t have. Silly heart! It wants what it wants without ever considering the circumstances surrounding it. Selfish heart! It wants to fulfill its own desires, and when it doesn’t get its way, it pouts, it throws fits.you see, my heart doesn’t realize that it doesn’t even beat out of its own will; that it only beats because Someone wants it to. My heart also doesn’t realize that it has everything it needs in order to survive, so it still tries to fill that God-shaped void with materialistic things. My sinful heart tells me it is discontent all the time… It is always anxious. It is deceitful above all else and it can’t be trusted. My heart needs to understand that God works everything for its good, and that He will not leave nor forsake those who chose to follow Him; that even when God says no, He is not being mean, He is showing kindness and grace; it needs to learn that all will be well, and that even when it hurts, in the midst of every circumstance, God is building its trust and perfecting its faith.
I really hope my heart learns to find contentment in the Lord soon, regardless of the season it is in.
Heavenly Father, if I should suffer need, and go unclothed, and be in poverty, make my heart prize Thy love, know it, be constrained by it, though I be denied all blessings. It is Thy my mercy to afflict and try me with wants, for by these trials I see my sins and desire severance from them. Let me willingly accept misery, sorrows, temptations, if I can thereby feel sin as the greatest evil, and be delivered from it with gratitude to Thee, acknowledging this as the highest testimony of Thy love.
When Thy Son, Jesus, came into my soul instead of sin He became more dear to me than sin had formerly been; His kindly rule replaced sin’s tyranny. Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued I must not only labour to overcome it, but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it, and He must become to me more than vile lust had been; that His sweetness, power, life may be there. Thus I must seek a grace from Him contrary to sin, but must not claim it apart from
When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me that in myself I am a dying condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live; that I myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace; that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have the ability to do all things. Though now I have His graces in part, I shall shortly have them perfectly in that state where Thou wilt show Thyself fully reconciled, and alone sufficient, efficient, loving me completely, with sin abolished. O Lord, hasten that day
– Puritan Prayer