I don’t believe I have ever felt more lost as I do now. I feel as though I am drowning and there is nothing for me to hold on to. Desperation is taking over. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here. Sometimes I don’t know who to trust. I am completely alone. There is no one to fight for me. Sometimes I just want to run..
That is how I feel.
But that is not what I know to be true!
Sometimes – more often that I would like – my feelings don’t express the truth of God’s word.
I have been craving for TRUTH lately. And the Truth says that God IS for me. He has already fought for me — and He WON! Truth says He doesn’t withhold anything good from me, whether that be a trip to the US to meet my friends, a job in a city that I love, a husband, kids, ministry, or whatever else I may think I need. The Truth is – to quote my favorite blogger – today I have everything I need TODAY! Another quote that I love is “I won’t question in the dark what is true out in the light”, by Building 429. What I believe that means is that circumstances cloud our judgement, and we are not supposed to question God’s purpose in a place of conflict. Even if my feelings are real and true, it doesn’t mean they line up with scripture — however real they may be. God’s word should validate my feelings and emotions. But what happens when it doesn’t? What happens when I feel alone, and there really is no one there, but the Bible says I’m not? What does that mean for me? How can my feelings validate the Truth of God’s Word? I am having a little bit of problem putting what I know into action.
For now I will rest in the freedom that what I know to be true and what I feel may be completely different things.
The truth is I want to honor God with my feelings. And until I do, I will seek answers!