Have you ever thought you’ve become the worst version of yourself? That question reminds me of the movie You’ve Got Mail for some reason — one of my faves for sure! Okay.. rabbit trail.. what I mean is.. havent you ever thought to yourself “How did I get here?” — I know I have. I spent a great amount of time just wondering how my life could have been, and where did I go wrong, or what would have happened if i had just kept my mouth shut, or that I definitely should NOT have spent that much money.. Now, what good did that do me, I ask you? I could not add an hour to my life by worrying, and it certainly did not make my problems go away.
The Bible says that all things work for the good of those who love the Lord.. so should we take that to heart? Most definitely. Do we act upon it? NO, we don’t. It’s in our nature to worry and that is a good thing sometimes. What Jesus warned us against was anxiety, really. I am a VERY anxious person. I may seem calm on the outside, but on the inside…. sheesh.. there’s always a battle going on. And there are BAD side effects to that…. I’m a nervous eater..(just felt the need to be honest there) YEP… I’ve said it.. i wish i wasnt.. oh, how i wish i wasnt.. hehe. And for those of you who aren’t like me.. there’s always something.. It’s interesting how we function, isn’t it?
A few weeks ago I read a note on Facebook that stirred up something within me. It was such an honest note I still think about it from time to time. It was mostly about being honest with yourself and doing what you are called to do and not worry about what other people will think of you. That hit me like a rock — and a very heavy one for that matter. I realized that it is so important to just follow my dreams, and where the Lord is leading me. I know He has the best for me — for all of His children. I spend so much time wondering what would be accepted by the people around me I forget to focus on what God’s will for me really is. I really hope He changes me.